


Night Terrors

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: ANGSTY ANGST ANGST, Aliens, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Oh Wait it IS Requited NVM, The Betting Pool, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:25:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10018010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: An away mission puts things into perspective for Janeway and Chakotay.(NOTE: The second ending has nothing to do with the actual story! It was a comedic add-on and the story can be enjoyed without it. Thanks)





	

_Captain's log, stardate 51926.3. We've come across an M-Class planet with hospitable locals. They’re called the Benwali and have much-needed dilithium all over their world. Chakotay and I will be going to the surface momentarily to negotiate for much-needed supplies._

Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay were greeted, upon arrival, by a compact woman with flowing white hair. In terms of physical appearance, the Benwali didn’t differ from humans too terribly. They had a small amount of ridging along their cheekbones, and their skin was a pale blue, but other than that they appeared unremarkable.

First Advocate Alara, as the woman was referred to, led negotiations. She was obviously the most important person there, or was at least treated as such by the others of her species.

The Advocate was quite reasonable, and Janeway had been pleasantly surprised when the negotiations only took about an hour. She'd been expecting them to last the day at least. Some species were, she supposed, more concise than others. It was certainly good for her back.

She should have known it wasn't going to be that easy, in retrospect. She told Chakotay as much as soon as they were alone again.

As the discussion was wrapping up, Janeway got a comm from Tuvok telling her that an ion storm was preventing them from maintaining transporter lock. They were required to stay on the surface until it passed.

The locals made sure to tell them it was no problem to provide living quarters for however long it would take. She made a point of showing gratitude on both of their behalf. In the meantime, they were told they could explore the area, with the stipulation not to go beyond the border.

"What's past it?" Chakotay was more curious than Kathryn, partially because he'd actually slept the night before.

"Beyond the city limit is a battleground," they were told. "Passing it would mean death to all newcomers."

"Then I guess we'll have to be careful," Kathryn said playfully. He gave her a grin that made her go weak. Of course, she'd never admit that to anyone, least of all herself.

They did decide to explore. Kathryn's scientific curiosity returned when she saw the abounding plants surrounding the building they'd been in before. She had taken to looking at each one she passed and analyzing it in detail, before Chakotay yanked her away playfully. They had a fun, friendly banter between them. She was glad to have chosen him for this mission, especially now that they were trapped indefinitely.

Kathryn briefly imagined being stuck here with Tuvok, and subsequently shuddered. Chakotay shot her an amused glance.

"What?"

"I'm glad you aren't Tuvok." He burst out laughing and agreed with her, before smoothing his features into an emotionless mask.

"It is highly illogical to assume that this piece of plant life will be any different from the previous six, Captain." They both dissolved into giggles at that one. She slapped his arm good-naturedly.

After a few hours of hopeful waiting, and some more plant observation (much to Chakotay's dismay) they came to the conclusion that it would indeed be best to ask for accommodations. When they asked, there had only been a few questions.

"Yes, of course. Would you like one room, or two?"

"One will suffice," Kathryn said at Chakotay's nod.

"One _bed_ , or two?" Chakotay held back his laughter to the best of his ability while Kathryn snorted. He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Two, please," she said once she was more composed. The attendant gave them a knowing smile which Kathryn was sure she didn't like and took them to the room.

When they entered, they were momentarily blown away by the decor (at least, Kathryn was. Chakotay was, too, but he didn't show it at all.) Kathryn was more interested in the bathtub than anything else. It was Chakotay's turn for a knowing smile as he remembered the tub he'd built on New Earth for her. The thought made his smile widen, and she caught it.

"What are you thinking about?" He wanted desperately to tell her, but he knew he couldn't.

"Nothing." He hoped she wouldn't press him, but that was foolish to do when the woman you were speaking to was Kathryn Janeway.

"Something had to make you smile like that."

"Like what?"

"I can't really describe it. I'd need a mirror," she replied. "Answer the question."

"Is that an order, Captain?" He joked.

"If it has to be," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Fine," he said, throwing up his hands. "I was thinking about New Earth." She caught him glancing at the tub and laughed.

"Of course you were," she said as she disappeared into the bathroom. "I'm glad this one has a door, at least."

"I'm not," he muttered under his breath as he changed.

The bath was really quite relaxing, and Kathryn was in a much better headspace when she came back out of the bathroom. It had been a pretty good day, all things considered, and her exhaustion felt a little further away than it had been. The knots, however, persisted. She groaned and cricked her neck as she sat down in a chair in the living area. The table had this planet's equivalent of a padd on it, which she picked up with curiosity. Leaning back, she rolled her shoulders and cursed her back mentally while she started to read what was essentially a room service menu.

Chakotay certainly noticed all of this, even from the other room. He came in quietly and sat next to her.

"Back bothering you?"

"How do you always know?" She chuckled.

"You don't make it hard," he retorted.

"I guess my back's remembering New Earth, too, and that massage." Her eyes closed at the memory.

"Want me to see if I can recreate that for you?"

"I'd love it," she replied with a grin. "Maybe I'll actually sleep tonight."

He stood up again and rounded to the back of her chair, placing his hands on her shoulders and working out the kinks slowly, enjoying how she sighed as the tension left her. "Is it too late for me to hire you as my personal masseuse?"

"I think that'd be hard to balance with all my other duties."

"Maybe I should relieve you of your commission," she said with another sigh. "I only need you for your hands."

"I'm not objecting," he said with a contented laugh. "But I think you should wait to make that decision until you're not being influenced by external stimuli."

"Good point," she said, and ceased talking altogether. She was probably almost asleep by now, seeing as how he'd gotten out almost all of the knots. He picked her up carefully, and laid her on her bed, where he worked the rest of her back until her breathing changed and he was sure she was asleep. Only then did he go back to his own side of the room.

When Kathryn woke up the next day, she was surprised to find that she wasn't tense at all. Then she remembered the previous night and smiled widely. _Those hands will be the death of me,_ she thought.

They weren't required to be anywhere or do anything (apart from waiting out the storm) the entire day. She could almost consider it shore leave. She got up slowly and stretched, ducking into the bathroom to don her uniform.

When she came back outside, Chakotay was also up and dressed with a pot of coffee going.

"My mistake," she said, "I need you for more than your hands." He chuckled and handed her a cup, which she accepted gratefully. She allowed her eyes to drift closed as she took in the scent, letting it almost waft over her. She was greeted to Chakotay staring at her when she opened them again to take a sip. "What," she half-said, half-laughed.

"That face you get when you smell coffee," he replied, as if that was an answer.

"What about it? This is wonderful by the way." He smirked.

"It's the most relaxed I ever see you on a day to day basis," he lied. What he really wanted to say was that it was one of her most beautiful faces, but of course he couldn't do that.

"Coffee has that effect on me. At least until I drink it."

"Tuvok to Janeway." She startled slightly when her commbadge chirped, but adjusted quickly.

"Janeway here," she replied, tapping the badge.

"We remain unable to transport you, but communications are unaffected."

"Understood. How long do you estimate this will last?"

"We predict the storm will level off at 1200 hours."

"Thank you, Tuvok. Keep me updated. Janeway out." Chakotay groaned.

"There aren't enough plants on the whole _planet_ to keep you busy for that long. What are we going to do?"

"Ever been cloudgazing, Chakotay?"

"A few times, when I was young."

"I've always enjoyed it," she replied as she set down her cup. "It's best in the mornings."

"Are you suggesting we go look at clouds instead of plants?"

"It can be fun," she frowned.

"I know as well as anyone. Probably will be better with you." He smiled before realizing he said that out loud. "You're such a scientist, I can't imagine Kathryn Janeway looking for animals in the clouds." Chakotay hoped he'd covered it up sufficiently as they left to find a good hill.

A few hours and many animals later, they became content to just lay there. They were both happy with just being at the moment.

Of course, as Kathryn should know by now, things just _could not_ be that easy.

The first phaser fire they heard wasn't very loud, but it was easily distinguishable. Her head shot up so fast he was afraid she'd break something.

"Not very close," he reassured, getting to his feet.

"But it was there. That alone is unsettling. We should get out of here."

"They said the border was safe."

"There is also a likelihood that they were _wrong,_ considering lines aren't often regarded very well during war." The whole conversation had been almost drowned out by phaser fire, drawing progressively closer, so he had to concede the point. They were just about to move when a stray streak of light hit her square in the chest and he barely had time to catch her.

~*~*~

 

"No, dammit, NO! _DON'T YOU DIE ON ME, KATHRYN!_ "

She lay there, barely alive, bleeding to death in his arms as he knelt on the ground. Transporters were down _._ He had no medical knowledge. He could do nothing but watch as the woman he loved (he had to admit it to himself, especially now) died in his arms. He shook with grief and tears he didn't notice.

"Please, Kathryn, I couldn't take it if you died now, just hold on for me…" He pushed a wayward hair out of her face as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

"Chakotay, I-" Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I need to tell you something."

"You can tell me when we're home, and you're patched up," he countered, trying to stop her.

"We both know that isn't true. Let me have this, Chakotay," she said, her voice growing ever quieter, and he relented with a nod. "I couldn't die without letting you know... " -she took a difficult breath- "without telling you I loved you at least once," she finished. His eyes were wet with a new round of tears he refused to let fall. He couldn't say he was shocked, but the fact that she was admitting it to him showed him how scared she really was. "Kiss me." He faltered.

"Consider it a last request," she joked, even at the brink of death. He nodded, barely, and couldn't help but thinking how radically different this moment was from the way he'd wanted it. The tears couldn't be stopped now, but he did as she wanted, pulling her into a tender kiss as the light faded from her beautiful eyes.

After that, he kissed her forehead and carried her body, amidst the phaser fire, back down the hill. It didn't matter if he died anymore, it didn't matter at all. The one woman who meant everything to him was gone. Nothing else was relevant.

Chakotay woke with a start, unable to regulate his breathing. Scared, he was so scared.

It took him a few minutes to come back to the world around him, to convince himself that it wasn't real. She wasn't dead. She was next door. She was fine. They were both fine.

His dreams had been growing in both length and intensity over about a week. This one had been almost cruel in its detail, the way he could feel some of her reactions to things like he would his own. The way there was so much build up and none of it mattered. The way her last words were telling him of her love…

He needed to know for himself. He had to make sure she was alright. He knew in his head that it was irrational, but if he didn't see and feel her, he had no reason to believe she hadn't been shot.

Chakotay quickly kicked off the covers and pulled on some sweatpants, along with a white cotton shirt, and barely refrained from running down the hall to her quarters.

He rang the chime and was surprised to hear a 'come in' very quickly after he'd done so. She must have still been awake.

It was her voice. The voice he needed to hear. He was flooded with relief even before he stepped inside.

When he did, he scanned the room for her and found Kathryn on the couch, sipping a drink. Probably coffee. His smile was so wide it hurt him.

"What can I do for you this late, Commander?" Instead of responding with words, he walked over to her as quickly as his feet would allow and swept her up into an embrace almost too tight, clinging onto her for fear that she'd disappear if he let go.

He was again unaware of the tears on his face, until she reached up and wiped them away.

"I think you'd better have a seat," she told him rather breathlessly.

"That's probably a good idea," he replied, but neither of them moved for a few moments more. When she finally did separate, he was still reluctant to let her go, but he did so.

"Chakotay, what happened?" He took her advice and sat down across from her, putting his face in his hands as he recounted the dream. He left out everything even remotely romantic until her death, because he couldn't bring himself to lie about that. He didn't even understand why himself, maybe he thought she wouldn't understand why it affected him so badly if he left it out, but he felt he had to tell it. He didn't even notice until he'd reached the end, but Kathryn was crying too. She had the decency not to interrupt, not once, not even when he told her the end.

"That's… I can’t even imagine..." she said.

"I'm sorry this is how you found out, Kathryn," he replied as he averted his eyes, suddenly ashamed.

"Chakotay, look at me." He did, and she took his hand in hers. "I knew. I knew since New Earth, and it was stupid of me to deny it. I can't bear the fact that my doing that may have made you feel this way."

He was at a loss for words, looking at her with a sorrow and a passion at the same time.

"Kathryn, if you were to die like that… I-" she silenced him by pulling him into another hug.

"I promise you, it won't be like that."

"How can you know that?" He pulled back and searched her eyes. "How can you know you won't die on the next away mission?"

"I said it won't be like _that._ I might die, Chakotay, we both have to accept that. You might die too."

"What are you trying to say?"

"It can't be like that because I'm telling you right now that I love you." she put her hands on his shoulders. "I love you with all my heart, Chakotay, and I'm a fool to have waited so long to let you know that. I should have told you the second I realized you felt the same." A stray tear made its way down her cheek, but she didn't acknowledge it. "It took your telling me this to realize… we're all alone out here, Chakotay. It's not like we can just put our feelings on hold because I'm your CO."

"I've been waiting to hear you say that for so many years, Kathryn," he replied, before taking her face in his hands and kissing her with a love and passion he’d kept stored away for years. Her hands wound in his hair, a sigh escaping her, and his traveled over her body.

When Kathryn pulled away, her face was flushed and her breathing labored.

“Oh, Chakotay,” she said in between breaths. She pulled him in this time, kissing him fiercely, and when they separated she hugged him as tightly as he had when he'd arrived. "I love you," she said, delighting in the sound of it. It sounded so right to say.

"I love you, too," he replied. "If I died now, I'd be happy."

"I wouldn't," Kathryn said. "I'm not done with you, yet." He smiled widely, seeing a glint in her eyes that wasn't just a reassurance, but a promise, as he took her hand toward the bedroom.

_FINIS_

 

(P.S. There’s another, funnier, non-storyline ending just down here if you’d like to read it…

 

 

 

 

Keep goin'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Almost got it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just outside the turbolift, one Tom Paris watched as a rather frazzled-looking Commander Chakotay practically bolted down the hall to the captain’s quarters. He wondered what could be happening!

It wouldn’t be right to pry. Of course not.

 

But who said Tom Paris ever did what was right?

 

He cautiously snuck up and put his ear to the door, just in time to hear:

 

“We’re all alone out here, Chakotay. It’s not like we can just put our feelings on hold because I’m your CO.”

  
“I’ve been waiting to hear you say that for years, Kathryn.”

 

So had he! Boy, would he be winning a lot of rations for this one. That was the largest betting pool on the ship!

 

But there was more to be heard. Was that a sigh?

 

“Oh, Chakotay…”

 

She sounded out of breath. Tom bit back a chuckle.

 

_Good for you, old man._

 

A pause. Did that sound like a kiss to anyone else?

 

“I love you.”

 

Poll closed. Tom decided that was enough snooping to fully justify his win, so he lifted himself off the ground with a big, goofy grin on his face.

 

“Paris to Kim.”

 

“What is it, Tom? It’s the middle of the night.”  


“You couldn’t have been sleeping.”

 

“Yes, more’s the pity.”

 

“I’ve got real big news, Harry.”

 

“Spill it.”

 

“Meet me in the Mess Hall.”

  
The rumor mill was going to have an absolute field day.


End file.
